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The Fantasy Fallacy: Perfect Timing for a Soon to be Bride

1761733119_3e1b84042f_mEditor’s Note: We have been blessed by amazing volunteers within our ministry.  Below is a testimony from one of our volunteers who helped with the research for The Fantasy Fallacy. We’re very thankful to hear how this project impacted her!


No other book could have come at the perfect timing for me!

It’s always a complete honor to be a part of what Shannon is doing to wake up this world for Jesus!  Knowing that a dream has been birthed and will be unfolding for the potential of tens of millions to view…and to be part of it…there’s not much that is more fulfilling and satisfying!  Such an awakening, humbling experience it has been to take part of the research team for her new book release, The Fantasy Fallacy.

Birthing knowledge, wisdom and an awareness into my bones is always a beautiful thing…

The research that we found to back up the information in this book has opened my eyes and given me knowledge beyond my years!  Being single and keeping myself for marriage, I started off this journey with knowing very little and being extremely limited and quite naive to the topic of sexual fantasies.  Many times, I felt ashamed and guilty for even thinking the purest thought of what my marriage bed would look like.  And to actually go to the place of how it would all go down…two bodies meshing together.  The thought was completely disgusting to me not to mention that at this point, I might as well have been in hell for thinking of it!  For many years,  I was insecure and very scared of actually having sex with yes, even my one day, husband!   Fear and anxiety would overwhelm me.  Then there were those few times where I would be totally okay with thinking of my sexual fantasies with my beloved husband.  Needless to say, I had no balance and I was totally confused.

Why join the research team?

You might ask why I then agreed to come on board with the research team.  This is exactly why…because I had no balance and I was totally confused…pretty obvious who got the short end of the stick here, huh?  😉  I did it because I do know that sexuality is a beautiful gift from God and it was time that I embrace it mainly because of the season that I was about to embark in.  I knew that I was going to learn and grow from this.  It was important to me that I glean and learn from a trustworthy, healthy source and that is who Shannon is in my life.  She is one that has great insight to the topic!  She loves the Lord and has a personal relationship with Him.  She writes from a Christian perspective and I completely trust and believe in her.

It was such a God-ordained book for such a time as this.  And me…it was the perfect timing to come on board and brighten my horizons and change my way of thinking.  Carving out time to research different topics and getting statistics on things such as sex before, outside and in marriage and fascinations on pleasure, pain and power, etc…has given me an awareness and knowledge of where our world is today and where we hope to take it.  Being behind the scenes and spending well spent time gathering information for such a book has got to be one of the biggest extremely fulfilling accomplishments that I have ever achieved.  It’s not all about how I can create something to change the world but more of how I can be part of helping someone change the world…this is what the research team did.  I played a part of HIS plan which will one day (SOON) bring awareness, freedom and liberty to thousands and thousands of confused, rejected, naive, pure, full of condemnation, hurting people in our world today.

The days to come…

The research that I personally did for this book and the research done by my teammates has given me a healthy outlook of looking at things from a Christian perspective…especially since I am on my way to being part of a beautiful marriage that will be enlightened by a hot, steamy sex life!  How incredible it feels to have this wisdom right in the beginning of marriage so that our foundation can be solid, healthy and ready for anything!  This sure does beat learning and being drilled from a worldly, ungodly perspective that the media brings us on a daily basis!  The research and how Shannon put it all together has changed my thought life for the better!  I am so grateful to have been educated while in the process of educating others on things that before brought deep confusion to me.

Looking ahead to a beautiful marriage experience with lots of complete, intimate, guilt-free moments in the marriage bed,

Sally Casanova

*Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Posted in Fantasy Fallacy, Life, Marriage, Sex, sexuality and spirituality

Behind the Scenes of The Fantasy Fallacy: Research

Editor’s Note: We have been blessed by amazing volunteers within our ministry.  Below is a  testimony from one of our volunteers who helped with the research for The Fantasy Fallacy.  We’re very blessed to hear how this project impacted her!


In the spring of 2012 Shannon Ethridge announced to her B.L.A.S.T. mentoring group, in which I am a proud alumnus, that she would be writing a book called “The Fantasy Fallacy, Exposing the Deeper Meaning behind Sexual Thoughts.” This book was to be a Christian response to the novel by British author E. L. James, wrote called “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Shannon also shared that she would be praying for volunteers to serve as a research group and as junior editors. I had recently just heard of the book Fifty Shades of Grey on local radio and talk shows, but I did not really know what all the hype was about.  I am a fulltime wife, mother of teen, graduate student, I serve as a Women’s/Family Pastor and I Counsel in my spare time, so needless to say I had to pray first, about my availability to help Shannon with this endeavor and ask to God if He would place a desire and call on my heart to serve Him in this manner, so I did not respond immediately.

A few weeks passed since Shannon’s announcement and it seemed that literally every day I was hearing about this new E. L. James book, on the news, the radio, from mom’s at school and even at church! So I looked further into what the book was about. The description on the online bookstores was, “an erotic trilogy,” that led me to believe it was definitely a book for adult readers. However upon further reading into the excerpts of the actual book I realized that its pages were filled with unhealthy sexual fantasy, bondage, dominance, discipline, submission, sadism and masochism. The characters in the book were emotionally and physically harming each other and their main goal was dominance, sexual pleasure or gratification.

As a Christian I felt an immediate sadness for the author of this book. I knew that even though she was experiencing a growth in her monetary situation from the explosive sales of her book series, I was left wondering if she was at all truly satisfied with the condition of her spirituality. When an author put thought to paper there is an immediate influence placed upon the reader. As I prayed about assisting Shannon in researching or editing the material for the Christian response to this book, I felt burdened and heavy hearted just thinking about the type of influences the readers would have placed on them in the context of reading Fifty Shades of Grey. In of May 2012, I contacted Shannon and let her know that I was on board and would gladly volunteer as a researcher for her new book.

Each week Shannon and the research team prayed, spoke or conferenced, shared research materials, scripture and notes.  I admit I experienced some trepidation as I began research on the fallacies of sexual fantasy. However, my eyes were open to the astonishing statistics of how young and how vast sexual fantasy is introduced to very young children through parental, sibling, or family related use of internet and social media related pornography or literature. This includes but is not limited to sexual or pornographic material and images children discover on smart phones, electronic note pads and devices.

The sudden realization, that a large number of American households are raising a generation of children and teenagers with a skewed, unhealthy, immoral foundation of sexual thoughts and fantasies was appalling. Research shows that these youth will most likely grow up to have unhealthy relationships and marriages with unrealistic and or immoral sexual expectations. If parents, teachers, community leaders, neighbors and even clergy are caught up in the seduction and fantasy that sexual fulfillment and gratification is found in sexual fantasy, pornography and sexually explicit material or literature, then they are advocating a very strong message that morality and healthy sexuality is irrelevant.

As I continued to research sexual fantasy I discovered that when an individual engages in the behavior exploring sexual fantasies they are expressing a specific desire to be met. The desire may not be actually just sexual in nature, in fact it could be relationally driven or even an expression or act of retaliation, violence or anger. I discovered that there were in fact many dangers in acting out or exploring sexual fantasies if an individual did not fully understand the true meaning or intent behind the desire. However, I do believe that as humans we are born with sexual desire, we would not have procreation and future generations may cease to exist if this were not so.

I believe it is healthy to have sexual desires for my spouse, but I will not allow myself to be harmed emotionally or physically by him nor will I emotionally or physically harm him, this would be an unhealthy sexual relationship. As a Christian I trust that God has instructed us to think upon things that are healthy desires of the heart.

Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

God created sex, I believe that He intended for his people to enjoy this glorious gift; however as His creation we must also protect our thought and minds from “fantasy falsehoods”, things that are not right or noble. I was truly blessed and honored to be a part of the research team for the “The Fantasy Fallacy, Exposing the Deeper Meaning behind Sexual Thoughts, it is my prayer that God will reveal glorious hues of truth that will break through the deceptive “shades of grey.”

-Christina Calk, BCBC (Board Certified Biblical Counselor)

Posted in BDSM, BLAST, Fantasy Fallacy, Fifty Shades of Grey, Pornography, Sex, Sexual Sin, sexuality and spirituality | 1 Comment

Some 50 Shades of Grey Humor…


Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.


Ron’s mates are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.  Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer.


“Crap Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?”


“Well, I’ve been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, ‘Guess who?” I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.


She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey……


On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.


And then she said, “Do whatever you want.”


So, Here I am!




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I was recently a guest on Jacque Watkins’ blog, Mercy Found Me.  Jacque is a woman with a mission to share God’s grace in her life, and she graciously shared how several of my books impacted her personal spiritual journey.  She also interviewed me about my ministry and B.L.A.S.T. Mentoring program.

I’d love if you would head over and chime in on the conversation!



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Wishing you a Happy New Year!

As we head into this New Year, we at Shannon Ethridge Ministries are excited and hopeful.  Excited because this year brings new resources, new branding, and new community for you, our faithful followers.  We’ll be sharing new ways to deepen your intimacy with Christ and within you marriage.  We’ll be expanding our reach to those in need of sexual healing.  We’ll be providing ways for you to share YOUR stories of redemption with others who need to hear God’s faithfulness in your life.

All of these changes make us hopeful, as we strive to provide a safe place here for healing and moving forward in Christ.

As always, we are praying abundant blessings upon you and yours.  Remember during this brand new year that whether you are facing difficulties and trials or are embarking upon new adventures – God is always present, always faithful, and always lighting your way.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – Philippians 4:13


Posted in Ministry Highlight